When I hold the Steam Deck I often feel it sliding down. When holding an xbox or playstation controller I use my pinky finger to keep the controller in place. The weight of the Steam Deck is heavier and I think this is something that also contributes to this problem.
Another issue I’m having is with the thumb sticks. When playing games where both thumbsticks are constantly needed I feel, after a while that I need effort to keep my thumbs hovering above the thumbsticks, as if they stick out too far…
I do Not have small hands… But I’m looking to hear how others are holding the Steam Deck or if there is a good Ergonomic way to hold it.
You might evaluate if it’s worth to slap a vesa mount adapter like the Deckmate on your deck and find a monitor arm that works for your usual gaming spot.
Driving anchors into a wall is a commitment, if you have one of those monitor arms that clamps on your desk yet it might be worth a shot.
If you’re slightly into metalworking and have a gaming chair, I think it can be adapted to be bolted on the base of one of the chair armrests without impairing the normal chair use (you can fold it behind the chair back when not in use).
I think the most suitable monitor arms for your scenario would be those ones with a gas piston. They usually have a screw to fine tune the upward force of the arm, you should be able to reach a “neutral buoyancy” point where your deck weight is turned to zero.
Your problems don’t mean you can’t enjoy gaming, you just need to find the right way :)