Google must be broken? Apple’s website too?

Because your phone is way too old.

It looks like iOS 17 is for the following devices:

• iPhone 15
• iPhone 15 Plus
• iPhone 15 Pro
• iPhone 15 Pro Max
• iPhone 14
• iPhone 14 Plus
• iPhone 14 Pro
• iPhone 14 Pro Max
• iPhone 13
• iPhone 13 mini
• iPhone 13 Pro
• iPhone 13 Pro Max
• iPhone 12
• iPhone 12 mini
• iPhone 12 Pro
• iPhone 12 Pro Max
• iPhone 11
• iPhone 11 Pro
• iPhone 11 Pro Max
• iPhone XS
• iPhone XS Max
• iPhone XR
• iPhone SE (2nd generation or later)

Source

lmao switching because they aren’t supporting a ~7 year old phone.

There’s nothing wrong with switching to android, it’s just that’s the funniest reasoning I’ve seen.

Time for device upgrade. iPhone 8 is not supported anymore for major iOS updates.